You have only begun to amaze*

It's pretty safe to assume that no one reads these things anymore...

Okay -- I have a lot to say.  Like I mentioned above, I think it's pretty good assumption that if I write this, hardly anyone will read it.  That being said, I have a lot of things to spill!  First of all, let's start with the last time I updated... my senior has already flown almost completely by since then.  It has been pretty great, besides the Hill's leaving and me being alone for a majority of it.  Marching band was insanely good and we were undefeated!  I got a full ride to UCA and hopefully I'll be in the Honors College, but I still have my interview to survive.  I made 1st band, 5th chair at All-State, so that was pretty good I guess -- could have been better, but ehh oh well.  There are a lot of exciting things coming up soon though!  Prom, Graduation, Summer, COLLEGE.  I can't even begin to describe how ready I am to be there... but I'm trying so hard to enjoy this last little bit left here in Hot Springs.  Oh, in case you didn't know out there, I'm bisexual.  Yeah, I really don't care who knows now, because chances are it won't affect you AT ALL -- so you can just get over it, alright?  My best friends are Laci, Sarah, Jovana, and many others... but those three ladies have stuck by me and I love them so much.

Starting about two months ago, I came across someone that I knew of but never expected to ever get close with.  We talked for a while, and it was nothing too serious, and then things picked up pace.  We went on a date and both had an amazing time.  The bad part about this was that he lives an hour and a half away, in the town that I'll be living in before I know it.  I honestly did not think that I would grow to like him this much, but I have been very captured here recently.  I found out some things that I'm praying aren't true, but I am starting to think they are.  Oh well, anything that seems too good to be true... usually is.  I'm very much in like.  In love, you ask?  Nope... I have yet to be in love and hopefully when it happens, it will be for good.  On that same note, I'm still a virgin and very proud of it.  That's honestly a very rare quality these days, especially in a guy.

Let's see... anything else?  Nah... I just want to be out of this place so bad.  I want to be free for once, and I want to be happy.  Take this sinking boat and point it home -- we've still got time.  Raise your hopeful voice, you have the choice...

I want to see your light.  No, I want to become a part of it.

Let's count the stars together...

--Austin

Currently Listening Eyes Open By Snow Patrol see related

I can't believe that I'm actually updating my Xanga.

Xanga.  Hey... What's up?  It's been a while... and a lot has happened.  I'll be brief.

• I completed my Junior Year with all A's and one B... oh and I got my ACT score up to a 29!
• I went to UCA's band camp where I met a completely new group of people and had a BLAST!  I highly recommend taking yourself out of your element and diving headfirst into new and unexplored territory; You'll come out a more outgoing and interesting person.

If I have learned one thing in the past few months, it's that you have to be honest with others that you care about, but most of all... you have to be honest with yourself.  You cannot go through life hiding who you are behind a veil of what is "acceptable" in today's society.  Figure out who you are and be yourself, and I promise that you'll reach heights that you never dreamt possible.

<3 Austin

Cinderella said that a dream is a wish your heart makes.  It makes me wonder, it makes me so curious.

Curiousity is a gift we each can share.  Harvesting it is simple:  just be like a child.  Wonder, play, pretend, and live in the moment.  We all can use this gift to brighten our World and put a glisten in our eyes.

When you smile, I melt... it's unavoidable.  We had our night, and what's done is done.  Silly me for thinking that you could be the one.

Sweetheart, I promise that you'll find true love.  Raindrops are falling outside from above, take a look... and you'll find, that what you thought was great isn't quite so sublime.

I understand you're confused and that you may need some time, but please...please rescue me from this relentless climb.  I say that I'm alright with this place, and I pretend to be content; however, things are not always as they seem.  Look closer... taste my smile and please stay a while...

Please be gentle... I can't bear to see you broken again.  Angels are dancing around you, and there is a glow that surrounds you, precious girl. 

Together we'll grow and learn... I can hardly contain myself when I think about how many years of bliss we have to come.  We'll find our way, sweetie, just take my hand... hold it tight... and we'll make it through this endless night.

You'll find your way, you'll find your path, you'll find your Heaven.  It's out there waiting for you!  Keep me in your heart, you'll always be in mine.

You.  I thought I knew you, but I was wrong... I'll never understand how someone with so much love around them can grow so bitter.  I wonder how long you can keep living like this, with your lipsticked smile and that meaningless kiss..